Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Survival guide to being on bed rest

Here is a list of thing that you must have to survive bed rest.  Some things are very serious as bed rest is a serious thing.  And other things are just for fun because you can still have fun when stuck laying in bed for who knows how long.  


If you are not completely satisfied your money will not be refunded because you didn't pay me anything, so please read carefully.




1.     Must have good friends and family to keep you entertained and at the same time be praying for you and  baby. 
       A.  An amazing husband!  He must be 5 to 6 feet tall, bald or balding, handsome, funny, kind of weird at times, understanding, loving, caring, very patient, faithful, a man of God, and entertaining.  He will become your slave.  Yes this is very sad to say but in a way true.  Must be well behaved and not easily irritated.  He must be willing to do everything and anything for you.  He will help you get up, get you food, fill your water multiple times a day, listen to you, and even buy you new underwear.  The underwear will be an adventure that will cause strange looks from the ladies in that department wondering why a bald man is on the phone asking what color, size and material is best, but he will do it with a grin on his face because he knows they aren't for him and he loves you.
     B.  Family that will call you and care about what is going on.  They will pray for you and baby everyday.  They may even make you laugh or teach you something new.  You need a Papa that wears a bright orange beanie in the winter and a straw hat in the summer.  He must make you laugh at all his random and sometimes inappropriate jokes.  A sister that text you everyday just to say hi or they are thinking of you.  A mother in law that teaches you to knit and withstands your long facebook chats just so you aren't board for five minutes.
     C.  Friends!  They are very important.  And you need all different kinds of them.  I like the silly ones like Joelle's.  They are top of the line friends, but they are very hard to find.  She will make you laugh for hours on end about stuff no one else will get.  People may even wonder what kind of drug she gave you but I assure you its just the drug of friendship.  You also need faithful ones like a Kyra that are pretty hard to find too.  I prefer mine to be loving, silly, artist, joyful, bike rider, and awesome.  She will come over to keep you entertained and may even help you plan things like baby showers :)  She will always make you smile and pray for you too.  You need text friends too.  These are friends that text you all the time sometimes all day long.  Talk to you about bed rest, life or just whatever.  They are fun because you get to talk to them about what is going on with them too.  So that way you can forget about bed rest and what is going on for a moment.  (note: other friends and family do the same).  So lots and lots of friends that care!


2.     Next you need dogs!  There are many kinds of dogs that will work just fine.  I prefer pugs and Shepard mixes.  The Shepard mix will cuddle with you and make you feel loved.  The pug will make you laugh.  Normally chasing his tail would make you laugh for a minute or two but these days it will make you laugh for a half hour or more.  And when these two play it will keep you entertained for hours.  Even when they get in trouble you have something to do.  Yell at them!  This is where a husband may comes into play, if yelling doesn't work.  He may need to be there to break them up as you are not allowed to do this on bed rest, but you can still watch.
     
3.     Food!  You need this to survive.  But a fun thing is to make the husband make all the new dishes you've been wanting to try but never want to make.  Now is a good time to try all kinds of things, because you don't have to make them.  Be prepared though if it has a lot of cutting involved the husband will bring the cutting board to you so you can "help."  At least you get to help with something, right?


4.     Water!  Lots of water to drink.  This is good because your suppose to drink 8 oz for every hour your awake.  Plus it makes you have to pee more.  Which is the idea ;)  That way you can get up more.  You must use this as an advantage because going to the bathroom is the only time you can get up.  It is the only adventures in your day.  So go pee as much as you can.  Of course not too much because then you might hurt yourself or baby but you get the idea.  Remember you do have one morning adventure of a five minute timed shower.  Which somehow takes the fun out of it because its timed or does it make it more fun?


5.     A good bathroom.  This goes with #4 but is very important.  Since this will be your only trip of the day it needs to be good.  A pretty bathroom is preferred but not necessary.  Very well stocked with TP since you are not allowed to get up to get more.  Remember if the husband is gone and there is no TP your only option is to drip dry because you are not allowed to get up for anything else.


6.     A good book or two.  This is a good time to catch up on "what to expect when your expecting" and other pregnancy and parenting books.  But also good for many other kinds of books let your imagination run wild.  I like to use some of my time doing devotions.  I do love that I have more time to spend in his word these days.  On a serious note I think this time has taught me to stop and make time to dive into his word everyday.  It is so filling and I never realized how much I truly love this time with God.


7.     Entertainment!!  This is a big one.  All the above things will keep you entertained but you will be surprised at how slow a day is when you are sitting and laying down all day long.  So you need lots of things like TV, knitting, a computer, phone, coloring books,  how to draw books, how to do different hair style videos, facebook, blogger :) and more.  Things like your computer can entertain you for hours one day and then you won't want anything to do with them the next.  Hence why you need multiple forms of entertainment.  You can use the computer to start a blog..hint hint, check and update your facebook, chat with friends and family, listen to music, watch videos, and learn new things.  Your phone is helpful too because you can call and text people, but remember other people still have lives even though you don't have one right now.  So a text reply may take more than a couple minutes so you must move on to other forms of entertainment in cases like this, such as TV.  And please don't get mad at friends or family when they don't answer your call or text and your board to death.  There is so much to do on bed rest why waste a minute of it:)


So the idea is to have people that are caring, will pray for you and baby, will make you laugh, and keep you entertained.  Also, have lots of random things that will keep you busy while you are sitting on your butt for days on end!!  Hope you are entertained on your bed rest!!  (pretty sure I used that word too many times in this blog, sorry)  

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